The Armadillo Tales

Are You Judging Me?

I have a mommy friend that I wonder about sometimes.   I wonder what she's thinking at times when we're all out and about with our kids.   I can't help but wonder.    She has these expressions on her face where you just know that she is "thinking about what just happened".    This "what just happened" scenario can basically apply towards anything.  It could be the two old ladies having coffee outside, sitting and talking with their matching little dogs sitting on their laps.   Or it could be the couple walking hand in hand coming towards us.   Or it could be me trying to get a handle on my son's tantrum in the restaurant.    Or it could be the firetruck driving by with hunky firemen waving to our children.    But with all of these scenarios the one that I want to know about is the one that involves me.    Well not just me, but my other mama friends as well.   This friend, I'll refer to her as the observer, takes a keen interest in how us other mamas parent our children.    The observer will study the situation with a devoted look on her face.    She will detract herself from her current state of affairs to focus on ours.   

I remember one time when we all went out for lunch after the children's class.   My armadillo was having a tough time with my decision for him to go in the stroller.   The armadillo wasn't budging and neither was I.    Both of us, headstrong and butting heads.   I tried asking the armadillo nicely, I tried reasoning that he would be a great help to mommy by sitting in the stroller, I tried enticing the armadillo by showing how his best buddy was also in his stroller.  Nada, nothing, he wouldn't budge.  So finally I'm already displeased at this point and needed to walk away.   I tell the armadillo that I was going to get more milk for him and started walking away.    The armadillo got even more distressed and started to bawl in the restaurant.   Ugh, I sighed and picked up the armadillo and took him with me.   [FYI, I was not going to leave him alone as my other mama friends were there with him.]    All this time I could tell the observer was well observing.   Upon exiting the restaurant she looked at me with this fretful look asking me if everything was okay.    Um yes I replied.   Thinking it strange that she would ask me this as if I fell on my face and my nose was bleeding from both nostrils.   It was then I wondered what she was thinking.  Was she critiquing my parenting skills or lack of?  Did she agree or disagree?    Was she making a mental note in her head debating whether I was a good parent or not?   Was she comparing what she would do versus what I did?     Well these were the thoughts that were running through my head immediately after the question. I couldn't help but feel a bit disconcerted and embarrassed.   

I started to speculate if other parents did the same thing when they are out in public.   Do parents judge other parents and their parenting skills?   Do you?   Do you make mental notes and form conclusions about the mother scolding her daughter at the mall the other day and whether she is a good parent or not?       

Sick Babies

Don't look at me ... I'm sick!    The not-so-friendly stomach bug has decided to pay a visit to our home and take up residence in the armadillo and the sumo baby.    My two babes have been fighting the dire and unpleasant symptoms that one with the stomach flu normally suffers through.   But there are no cases exactly alike here.   The poor armadillo has had to endure the most brutal of the symptoms.    The armadillo was vomiting for more than a day and could not keep anything down, not even water.     The sumo baby fortunately is only suffering from one end, rather than both as the armadillo is.   

We took the boys to the doctor yesterday and the armadillo received a shot of medicine to help curb the vomiting.  It seems to be working.   Along with monitoring his fluid and solids intake, he hasn't vomited since yesterday morning.   As a parent I'm sure that many of you can identify or should I say sympathize with parents and the clean up that invovles a sick child or children.    Holy schmokeys ... if you have a weak stomach, cleaning up your little one's spit up is not pleasant.  Oh and when it happens in the car, team work is absolutely necessary.   I don't know how I would be able to take care of both boys if B-Dad wasn't around.   Trying to clean up the remnants of the armadillo's lunch and herd the sumo baby away from the mess at the same time ... not happening if I was by myself.   But thankfully B-Dad was able to take some time off to help out. 

Right now the armadillo has stopped vomiting but is sporting a fever.   He's been spiking up and down for the past 36 hours and it looks like the fever might break.   I hope so, otherwise it's another trip to the doctor.    Auspiciously the sumo baby's only symptom is good ole diarrhea.   But man it's explosive and it burns his chubby bum.   The sumo baby abhors diaper changes because his backside is so irritated by the constant outbursts in his diaper.   Hopefully all of these symptoms will pass and my boys will be back on the saddle again.   

Aloha Sam and Elia

I am so depressed.   My man Sam was eliminated last night from the hit show on Bravo,Top Chef.    Last night was part one of the two part season finale.    The final four contestants were flown to my beautiful home state of Hawaii.    They actually filmed on location at the Hilton Waikaloa Village on the Big Island.   I haven't been to the Big Island in ages.  I remember the lush surroundings and I'm sure it is still stunning as ever.   

I am not going to go into an episode or season recap.   You can read about it here.   I'm too lazy to type it all out.   Having watched from episode one, Sam was my early favorite.   A talented and innovative chef, he was constantly in the forefront of most challenges and rarely placed in the bottom three.   So imagine my surprise when he was eliminated from the final four and not moving on.   I was sorely disheartened by the judges' decision.   I wished they took into consideration his track record this season when deciding who was to move on.   Why should it just come down to one dish?  It's not as if someone had food poisoning, or worse died?

But yea yea, I know this show is about cooking and only cooking.      But when it came down to the bitch sessions in front of the judges about Marcel, Sam always took the high road.    I think a top chef should not only be about their cooking but who they are as well.   What their character represents should also be a factor but I think that with this show, who cares if you're an a$$hole?   As long as you can cook right?      Plus it makes great reality television if the most hated gets to the final.

In watching the dishes they were creating I was excited at their challenge.   To take the native Hawaiian foods they ate previously and put their own spin on it, while at the same time, keeping true to what the Hawaiian food represents.      How I would have loved to be there to taste the dishes.  I was disappointed that only Ilan used meat.    The rest of the contestants used fish and thus two of them did their spin on a local favorite, poke.    Poke is dish of raw fish, mixed with sesame oil, soy sauce, green onions, chili flakes, salt, and seaweed.  There are many different variations of the local poke but I think you get the picture.    

With the absense of Sam in the final two I'm not so excited to watch the season finale.   But of course I will.   No offense Ilan, but I am rooting for Marcel.  He has taken so much of everone's BS that it's time for some payback.    But Marcel, no foams please, it's so done and over with.

Dollar Station, Sweet

Why have I not gone into a Dollar store till today?   There is a dollar store in my neighborhood that I've never thought to go in.   I'm thinking what could I possibly need or want in a dollar store?   I don't need cheap plastic hair rollers, obscure dishes and flatware, mardi gras beads, or silly party favors.     But then I looked at my two little boys in front of me.    I thought what the hell.   Let's browse and see what we find.  But wow ... lo and behold it was a small treasure chest of dollar finds for my boys.   The armadillo went fanatical with all of the knick knack hanging off the walls, stacked on the floor, etc ...   He kept saying, "Mama ooooo ... look at this ... ooooh Mama ... want this ..." with every item that sparked his interest.   The armadillo's school handed out a wish list of items so I bought some things that they need.    I bought notepads, sticky foam letters, glue, stickers, sidewalk chalk, etc ...    Of course I'm keeping some of those goodies for the armadillo.    I think he'll have a blast showing off his artistic creations.    I know that I'll hang every single example of his imaginative handiwork on the walls in the house.    Oh, I can just feel that mama pride swelling up.    It's a nice feeling.

Easy, But Then Again

I used to think that if I had to just take care of the armadillo during the day that it would be so easy.  The sumo baby would be at the babysitter's for example and I would spend the day with the armadillo.   I thought this should be easier than just the sumo baby alone, and of course easier than the two of them together.    My theory was based on the fact that one the armadillo talks and two, he understands about 50% of what I tell him.   But in taking a trip to the mall today was my theory was full of holes on one hand, but held water on the other.

Yes the armadillo can understand what I say, most of the time, and he can tell me what's on his mind, well most of the time too.    But what shoots my theory to the ground is that I forgot to factor in the listening part.     What good is it that he understands that when I say to stop running around to stop but he doesn't actually do it?    Nothing.   It isn't any good.    Same goes for holding my hand while we are walking to the car.    He KNOWS what I'm saying but does that carry any extra weight accoring to the armadillo?    Effin' no way jo-se.     He still struggles to break free, regardless of my python-grip hold on his tiny hand and cars driving by.   

So forget the theory.    I learned that no one child is easier than the other.

This is Not Maui

If you are looking for information in regards to the beautiful Valley Isle (Maui), then please do not watch Maui Fever.    The latest MTV creation is about a group of young girls and guys and their supposed lives on Kaanapali Beach on the island of Maui.    I was only able to watch about 10 minutes of the show and I was disgusted.    I am from Hawaii and people, this is NOT how the locals live on this island.    The only information I gathered was that the guys on the show target young female tourists for fast partying and one night stands.   Yuck.      Too much sexual content for a show trying to attract and starring young people.   Where are your morals Maui Fever cast members?    The other thing that bothers me about the show is the lack of diversity.   A vast majority of the cast is Caucasian ... According to a 2000 Census 31 percent of Maui County is Asian, 10 percent Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander, and 22 percent is of mixed race.     But from what I've read about the show, not one cast member was born on Maui.    At least get one person who was born on the island.   That shouldn't have been too hard ... I'm sure that there are a lot of beautiful young people who are born and raised on Maui.   

Bottom line this show makes local people look dim-witted.   I find that appalling.   Maui is beautiful no doubt, and so are its people.

Look Who's Turning One!

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY SUMO BABY!

I can't believe that one year has already passed since you made your entrance to this world.   Words cannot express just how fortunate we are to have such a beautiful human being in our life.    My sumo baby, you have grown so much in just one year.   I can already see the look of mischief in your eyes when you turn the television off when everyone is watching it or the what was once a gummy smile, now is starting to fill with your pearly baby chompers.      It is pure delight watching you mature and getting bigger every day.    

I am thankful of every minute that I get to look into your deep brown expressive eyes ... smell your sweet baby smell ... hear that deep baby belly laugh ... kiss those chewy chubby cheeks.     You are most precious and most loved.

Of all nature's gifts to the human race, what is sweeter to a man than his children?  -Marcus Tullius Cicero   

Not So Friendly Skies?

According to an article on Yahoo, the family of an uncooperative toddler was asked to depart the plane after their 3-year old daughter refused to take her seat.   AirTran Airways defended thesmselves by saying that the FAA rules state that a child over 2 years of age, must have their own seat and wearing a seat belt.    AirTran indicated that the flight was already delayed and the child was hiding under the seat, hitting her parents.   The Orlando-based carrier refunded the family the cost of the three tickets and also offered roundtrip tickets for anywhere the airline flies.

Ahem ... are we serious?    I admit that I don't know what happened during that time, but come on.    You couldn't get your 3 year old daughter into her seat?   Who's the boss in this family?   Obviously it must be this high spririted toddler, not the parents.     Again, I don't know the whole sitatuation so I'm trying not to judge.   If that was my child, I would put a little more effort into getting my child into the seat, instead of making all of the other passengers wait for my child to calm down.   It's rude to assume that the other passengers will understand or be patient.   

Of course the family mentioned they would never fly AirTran again.     I don't think AirTran executives are losing any sleep over it.

Farewell Mr. Parcells

I can't say that I wouldn't have left too but I am sorry to see Bill Parcells go.   The former coach of the Dallas Cowboys retired today after four seasons with the franchise.   What now?     My favorite team is in a bind.   There's talk of owner/General Manager Jerry Jones looking at Tennessee's Jeff Fisher or the recently retired Bill Cowher of the Pittsburgh Steelers.   The list goes on and on.   Please Mr. Jones, think long and hard about who you bring in.  I love the Dallas Cowboys and would like to see another Super Bowl added to the already record eight.

These are Not Free

To: The Old Crabby Lady Working at My Local Borders Bookstore

Did you know that you work for a very large bookstore chain?    I assume that since your employer has numerous stores located throughout the country that wholesale prices for books, dvd's, cd's, etc ... are extremely affordable.    I also presume that these reasonable prices also applies towards your supply of gift cards.   I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.   The stacks and stacks of cards you have displayed near the cash registers and at each register counter.   Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm guessing that each card costs less than a nickel to produce.   I can also presuppose that once a gift card is used up, that either the owner of the gift card discards said gift card, or the local Borders store disposes of them themselves.    My point to you is that these gift cards are relatively cheap ... you know ... easy on the wallet.       As a result, how dare you take your wrinkly dry hands and seize the stack of cards my armadillo was carrying around.     How dare you take for granted that all of those cards were from your store?     How dare you.    

He did have three Borders gift cards that I guess would have cost your company no more than a quarter if he actually walked out of there with the cards.     If I wasn't so pressed for time and if there was not a line behind me, I would have made you ring me up for fifty gift cards with a dime on each one.   Then I would have grabbed whatever was on the counter and purchase those items with the fifty gift cards I acquired.    ... Wait I'm not done yet.    Then I would have procured those items with the fifty gift cards but only use 9 cents on each gift card and leave the penny.   

Yes I can be vindictive ... What do you expect you ancient hag?     A piece of advice ... speak to the parent first before you make any rude gestures towards their child.      You're lucky I didn't slap your wrinkly desiccated hand away.   

I hope you got some kind of reward for taking those gift cards away from my armadillo.  If you didn't, I'll be sure to flip you a quarter the next time we're there.

The Armadillo's Mama