I have a mommy friend that I wonder about sometimes. I wonder what she's thinking at times when we're all out and about with our kids. I can't help but wonder. She has these expressions on her face where you just know that she is "thinking about what just happened". This "what just happened" scenario can basically apply towards anything. It could be the two old ladies having coffee outside, sitting and talking with their matching little dogs sitting on their laps. Or it could be the couple walking hand in hand coming towards us. Or it could be me trying to get a handle on my son's tantrum in the restaurant. Or it could be the firetruck driving by with hunky firemen waving to our children. But with all of these scenarios the one that I want to know about is the one that involves me. Well not just me, but my other mama friends as well. This friend, I'll refer to her as the observer, takes a keen interest in how us other mamas parent our children. The observer will study the situation with a devoted look on her face. She will detract herself from her current state of affairs to focus on ours.
I remember one time when we all went out for lunch after the children's class. My armadillo was having a tough time with my decision for him to go in the stroller. The armadillo wasn't budging and neither was I. Both of us, headstrong and butting heads. I tried asking the armadillo nicely, I tried reasoning that he would be a great help to mommy by sitting in the stroller, I tried enticing the armadillo by showing how his best buddy was also in his stroller. Nada, nothing, he wouldn't budge. So finally I'm already displeased at this point and needed to walk away. I tell the armadillo that I was going to get more milk for him and started walking away. The armadillo got even more distressed and started to bawl in the restaurant. Ugh, I sighed and picked up the armadillo and took him with me. [FYI, I was not going to leave him alone as my other mama friends were there with him.] All this time I could tell the observer was well observing. Upon exiting the restaurant she looked at me with this fretful look asking me if everything was okay. Um yes I replied. Thinking it strange that she would ask me this as if I fell on my face and my nose was bleeding from both nostrils. It was then I wondered what she was thinking. Was she critiquing my parenting skills or lack of? Did she agree or disagree? Was she making a mental note in her head debating whether I was a good parent or not? Was she comparing what she would do versus what I did? Well these were the thoughts that were running through my head immediately after the question. I couldn't help but feel a bit disconcerted and embarrassed.
I started to speculate if other parents did the same thing when they are out in public. Do parents judge other parents and their parenting skills? Do you? Do you make mental notes and form conclusions about the mother scolding her daughter at the mall the other day and whether she is a good parent or not?